What the What?

TWO BLOGS??? GRRRRL YOU A STRAIGHT UP HUSTLA YO!

I know that's what you're all thinking, since I went and got myself a shiny new tumblr.

I explain in my first post why I wanted a tumblr in addition to this site, so I think you should head on over there and read it, because I am NOT EXPLAINING IT TWICE. 

50/50

It's always darkest before the dawn.
Or before the world ends.
Guess we'll see.

The Older I Get

Look out the window it's a world of snow
it's all a dream you know, don't you know?
Sip your coffee; it's bitter and old
a bit like me, except it's not cold
You think it's cold? You don't know cold
Cold runs deep and penetrates your bones
You think you're old? You aint old age
Old is something your born with and it never goes away
It's quiet now in this Clean, Well Lighted Place
didn't Hemingway know that's the opiate of the insane?

The older I get, the younger this world seems
we're all collectively dissapointed in our fruitless dreams
No one ever told us how people say the opposite of what they mean
The older I get, the simpler this world seems
how come none of us became who we thought we'd be?
Nothing seemed as simple when we were young than virtuosity

Lie awake at night, stare at the stucco ceiling
I had an idea but lost what I was feeling
Quiet in the dark, it's so loud in my head
it's so crowded in the world, so empty in my bed
Sometimes I see kaleidescopically
I think everything's swirling and nothing's what it seems
Colour bleeds together, my eyes are made of glass
I wondered if that's normal, you said I shouldn't ask
Sometimes the sun rises and looks so unfamiliar
You said Van Gogh was crazy, so maybe we're similar


The older I get, the younger this world seems
we're all collectively dissapointed in our fruitless dreams
No one ever told us how we would say the opposite of what we mean
The older I get, the simpler this world seems
how come none of us became who we thought we'd be?
Nothing seemed as simple when we were young than virtuosity

I want to get married outside just before sunset.
I want some rebellious teenagers in attendance to be scheming to set off fireworks.
I want a couple of my talented friends to play music.
I want a big campfire after where everyone can roast hotdogs and marshmallows.
I want picnic tables surrounding a big area of lawn set aside for dancing.
I want helium filled balloons attached to everything. I don't care what colour. Every colour.
I want guests to get their faces painted and jellybeans for everyone.
But if my future husband wants a mid-day wedding with a dj and a catered meal in some sort of church or rec hall with a colour scheme and table cloths and NO FACE PAINTING I'll be ok with that because mostly I want someone who I really love and who really loves me. We can go to the fair some other day.

Eulogy for a Tugboat

We are gathered here today to celebrate and honour the life of Mr. Theodore Tugboat. It is a sad day, a solemn day, and a day for grave reflections on the fragility of life and strength of spirit of anthropomorphic sea vessels.

Theodore Tugboat was built in Halifax, Nova Scotia on July 5th, 1993. He was born into a 1500 to 1 scale model electronically controlled world of endless possibilities. The world was his oyster, and his goal was to make The Big Harbour the friendliest harbour in the world, and to always do his best on work-related tugboat tasks.

 I believe we all have our own idea of what made Theodore the Harbour Tugboat special---be it his bright red baseball cap or his ambitious desire to be an Ocean Tug--but we can all agree that his most defining feature was his friendly attitude. It wasn't always easy for Theodore to keep up his good attitude. I remember Theodore's first day in the big harbour. Season 1 Episode 20: Theodore's first day in the big harbour, he meets a bully named Benjamin Bridge. That Benjamin Bridge makes things real difficult for him on his first day, but Theodore's winning attitude shines through.

 But don't think Theodore was always doing the right thing. The mischief that lil' tug got into would knock your socks off! I remember the day Theodore met Clayton the Crane. Well Theodore decided he wanted to lift heavy things too, just like Clayton, but he knocked everything over and even spilled a crate of oil! Theodore learned from that mistake, that he should stick to his own strengths and be comfortable with who he is!

You can't imagine the compassion Theodore had for everyone he met. Why, in season 2 episode 3, Theodore found a whale stuck in the rocks, he names that whale Walter and he kept him company until his parents are found.

And now we reach the saddening reality of Theodore Tugboat's tragic death. It was Theodore's bravery that brought about his fatality. One night when a ship got lost in Ecum Secum Circle, that brave lil' tug went out to rescue her. But this rescue did not go like the rescues of before. Theodore tugboat was sucked into Ecum Secum, and was crushed in the rock from which he was made.

 We are all here, Hank the Tugboat, Phillip and Pheymour the ferry twins, Donald Dock, Bobby Barge, Bedford Buoy, Kulu the Canoe, Chimey the Clock Tower, and even old Benjamin Bridge, because we were inspired by one tugboat, Theodore Tugboat. I am personally inspired by Theodore Tugboat, as he taught me many lessons. First off, he taught me not to go into the Dark and Scary Cove at night alone. He taught me that if a submarine doesn't reply to me when I say hello, he might just be asleep! And most of all he taught me that the best way to make a friend is to rescue them from dangerous rocks during a heavy storm--how I henceforth approached making all my friends.

 So please, my friends, colleagues, buoys, barges, bridges, ocean liners, docks, clock towers, and harbourmasters, please pay your respects as I sing the inspirational theme song from Theodore tugboat:

Theodore, he's a tugboat and a friendly tugboat too.

Oh, Theodore, likes to do the things that friendly tugboats do.

Pushin' and a pullin', in the great big harbour.

In the great big world, it's so much fun.

So many brand new things to discover.

Wakin' with the sun, gotta get the job done!

Oh, Theodore and Emily. Foeduck, Hank and George and the harbour master too!

Thankyou. 

We were asked to write a eulogy in grade 11. Most people wrote about grandparents, aunts, uncles, or even pets. I chose to write about Theodore Tugboat. I then presented this as a speech to my class. I don't think I can blame anyone I went to school with for thinking I was "not funny, just super awkward." 

We

One of the last-born of a dying breed of children
blood related by mostly forgotten novels
Sons and Daughters of our own restlessness
made aware of our rising extinction
only by the cold lost looks we received
upon meeting one another.
We: those who cannot live without the scent
of very fresh earth and the sound
of falling water and the feel
of short rough carpeting in a big empty room.

These Sensations

Self destruction is a funny thing;
at the very moment you think
you cannot take any more
you need more than you ever had before.